The Deer part 3

Officer hot dog face called the EMS, and after the ems truck pulled up, a few people (I can only assume that these are medically trained professionals…haha…hm) got out of the truck. Then some more people got out of the truck. Then thered were some more, There were literally like 15 people there in total at the scene of the accident. Let’s do some math here. If we take the number of people and subtract mr. cop mcpolicemanson and the two tow truck guys, that means that like 12 people had to have squeezed into that ems truck. Seriously there were like, a million of them and they were all trying to get their turn to touch and comfort us. Unfortunately for them it was neither comforting or comfortable to be caressed by borderline obese, pale strangers with dirty jeans on.

After i asked for ice for maybe the third time, a lady hovered close to me with a possible ice pack-looking object. she was squishing it between her hands in not quite a giving motion. i was confused as to what she was doing until another lady, her frizzy blond hair fanning out in the light, bounded excitedly towards me with an ice pack looking object in her hands. she was also squishing it between her fingers. when she got close enough she squealed excitedly: "we found a cold one!"

at last! i thought, my swelling may be mediated by this heavenly coolness that will hopefully shrink my face to something close to normal size. but much to my dismay, anger, and surprise, this 'cold pack' wasn't even close to being cold. there was not any sort of solid inside it, and it was damn close to room temperature. it should really be called a room temperature pack. i mean, who uses those? i guess if your face really needs to be at room temperature one of those would be useful, but why, why, why, why, why?

so as the room temperature pack was applied to my face (with 4 layers of gauze in between, no less, because i was also face bleeding), many people came and asked me for the same information, and it was decided that my car would be towed to the hotel, where we would retrieve our necessities for the night (mine included my sexy black dress that would have definitely gone perfectly with my huge, puffy lips. Party time!) and get a hotel room. During the ride to the hotel, however, Tash manages to convey to the officer both that this was the second time that she’d been in a cop car this semester, and that she wished to push all of the millions of buttons on the car’s dashboard. The policeman is alarmed.

After we get to the hotel, Leigh’s mouthparts moved, forming sounds directed at the officer: “So like um, do you have a knife?”
The officer, already alarmed, now became a deer in the headlights. “What for?” he asked, suspiciously.
Leigh then explained that we had ghetto rigged my car so that her bag is tape-tied to nooks and crannies. After the officer cut loose leigh’s belongings from the tangled web of hooks and tape and seat belts, we finally went inside, where we plopped down and began making calls to various important people.

oh it's not over yet. more hilarity to come later.