greetings fellow hominids
long time no blog! things have been happenin! not really though. since i last blogged, i've probably been through a little. here is one story that i thought you should know about. typical of things that happen to me.
on my daily walk through the minneapolis skyway system (longest skyway system in the nation, no big deal) with friend e, strutting our stuffs and laughing about absurd things (have you noticed? walking is really weird because it's like, you're balancing on two jointed sticks cushioned with meat pads. soooo weird), i notice a slightly obese, pale, shiny-headed man coming towards me. he was mid-forties, wearing a red flannel shirt with a white t-shirt underneath, his belly protruding enough to house a pregnant woman.
he held, inconspicuously, a notecard in his hand that read
"does size matter?"
to which i promptly responded "yes", as if it were a reflex. it's the age-old question, and it had a correct answer.
a few seconds later i hear "excuse me!" and i turn around. the bald man held a twice-folded piece of paper in his outstretched hand. i was confused. he told me that it was a thank you card for responding correctly. i thanked him and walked away, opening the paper. this is what the paper said (no joke)
"of course size matters! Thank You for saying so! You are obviously an enlightened Woman, not willing to settle for anything You can't even feel! Good for You!
i am a submissive, a slave, with only four inches (erect). i could never satisfy a Woman as strong and beautiful as You. Thankfully, the Women who have owned me trained me to be useful to them in other, non-sexual ways. i love to clean house, run errands, or be a whipping boy when it's time to stage a Ceremonial Beating. Invite your Girlfriends! Take pictures!
i hope that i hear from You. References available.
shorty"
the paper then lists his phone number and email address. note several things about this. first, he is definitely intelligent, for spelling and grammar errors there are naught. second, he was really pretty smooth at this. third, he's thought about this from every angle, and even offers references.
aaaaaaaaaaaaand that concludes today's skyway storytime. the skyway is definitely an interesting place. everyday, homeless people, millionaires, lawyers, janitors, all mingle together in the glass tubes that run through most of downtown minneapolis. it is quite an experience to be here. oh yeah and once i saw terrence howard.
exhibit A: not shorty. maybe.
